On a journey of transformation, there are many stages along the way. Yesterday I entered a stage I’m thinking of as my ‘Grace Period‘. In the 2 days before yesterday, so many things came to an end, had been completed enough for now, or just let go of. The build up to that time was so very stressful — not knowing how to do things, deadlines looming, hair falling out, and feeling held in the balance of so many unknowns.
It seemed like it happened all at once. I figured out how to do things ‘enough’ that I could meet some critical deadlines. I cut my hair off and had it both confirmed that it was indeed falling out at a rapid pace, AND that there was a half-inch of new growth coming in. (Yay!) I sent my blood off to a lab for analysis to see if anything besides the trauma of March’s illness was causing the hair loss. With all these ends tied enough, I hopped on my bike and felt completely liberated! As I rode along Lake Superior I thought ‘this is my grace period’. This is that time in between yesterday and tomorrow where everything feels exactly right and perfect as it is.
Earlier in the day yesterday, I heard that the loved one of a friend had passed on and that someone near and dear to me was just diagnosed with cancer. It’s strange to say how free I felt on my bike after hearing these sad bits of news. You see, I was filled with gratitude, appreciation, and compassion. My inner appreciator’s volume was on high. In this Grace Period, I knew that getting sick this winter & losing my hair will open my heart in new ways to my friend with cancer… and that knocking on death’s door and sensing the complete and utter peacefulness behind it gave me a different appreciation and ‘all right with it’ feeling about my friend’s loved one passing on. This wasn’t arrogance… or gratitude I was alive and didn’t have it so bad. Rather, it was a feeling of deep appreciation for the perfection of it all, even though it ain’t all pretty and some of it feels really awful.
This is the stuff of my ‘Grace Period’. I’d love to hear about those moments of ‘rightness’ you’ve found in the midst of your greatest challenges. As always, I welcome your comments.
Thank you SO MUCH for how you engaged with me around my post “Prisoner of my hairdo“. I know for certain that putting that out there and getting such rich responses from you all helped guide me to this period of Grace.