Connecting Coaches, Creatives, & Curious Folks through what's emerging in this moment

Burst Wide Open

Bubbles burst, rain clouds burst, buds burst into bloom, tinder bursts into flame, fireworks burst across the sky, and my heart bursts wide open.  Once something bursts, it transforms.  The bubble won’t be put back, the cloud can’t have the raindrops shoved back in, the flower wouldn’t dream of being pushed back into bud.  What about the heart?  If it has truly burst wide open, can it close down or harden again?  We often have moments when we think we’re ‘about to burst’, but we don’t really.  We almost transform, but instead we have a lovely or powerful experience.  It’s easy to go back to the old way from a ‘lovely experience’.  Not so easy if we are truly burst open.

Since I awoke in the ICU I’ve been pushed to the ‘about to burst’ point over and over again.  I can’t tell you how often I’ve burst into tears — sometimes from sadness, worry, or despair, but mostly because the love was more than I thought I could bear.  At first, the words overwhelmed me.  Comforting, yes, in many ways… but also like a tire or balloon being filled too full much of the time.  The food people brought, the cards sent, the conversations shared, and the endless messages of love and support offered in countless ways — these were all part of the ‘about to burst’ phenomenon.

Launching the fundraiser has pushed me to the bursting point again and again.  Oh my!  It takes a certain kind of courage to ask for help so directly.  I’ve needed to trust that people’s words are genuine when they ask “How can I help?”  I’ve also needed to trust myself enough to know that I’ll still love and support me even if my request is ill-received, off-putting, and/or I get judged because of it.  With that trust firmly in place, the response has been jaw dropping!  We’ve received donations from all over the world and all across the United States: The United Kingdom, Belgium, Netherlands, Luxembourg, Turkey, Spain, Dubai, S. Korea, Canada, Macedonia, MI, WI, MN, MS, WY, IL, IN, OH, PA, NJ, NY, NC, GA, CA, KY, TX, CO, WA, OR, MA, CT, FL, MD, VA, and HI to name a few!

Sometimes I check the PayPal account my friend set up and my jaw drops or I burst into tears when I see who donations have come from.  Sometimes the $2 donations move me as much as the $2000 donations.  There are people who have given that I know have precious few resources to spare – this is very humbling.  This inspires and motivates me to do the dirty work that’s waiting for me.  There are people who have written letters with a clear and powerful ‘no’ to contributing that have moved me and strengthened their own commitments around money.  There are people who were part of my life long ago that have shown up in astounding ways.  This reconnects me to who I am and reminds me that the good things that are core have always been there and always will be.  And there are people I’ve never met – some giving very generously – these are bewildering to me and open me to wonder what this is really about.

This has become bigger than me, bigger than my urgent situation.  Perhaps it always was.  There are gifts for all of us in the midst of this.  Gifts about how to share with one another, how to ask for help, how to give and receive, how to honor, appreciate, celebrate, support, and call each other forth to the fullness of what’s possible when we allow ourselves to burst open fully.

There’s so much more to discover.   I know I’m only scratching the surface.  What a fascinating time we’re living in.  Thank you for being part of this glorious world in whatever unique way you are.  Thank you for your generous offerings.

Bursting…. with love and appreciation,

Helen

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Comments on: "Burst Wide Open" (11)

  1. Heatheroo said:

    And now I’m burst wide open – -by your words, your heart, your powerful and sincere speaking of your truth.whewph! And with tears welling up in my eyes, I send you a hug of thanks and love for the small burst you have created in my lawyers office many miles away. Love, Heatheroo

    • helenhouse said:

      It’s good to know that burst begets burst — even miles and miles away. Thanks for being part of my ‘more than I can stand’. Love love, Helenska

  2. To those who love much, much love will be given.

    • helenhouse said:

      Take those most excellent words to heart, my friend. What a hopeful notion that is. Love it!

  3. Nice! Thanks for sharing and reminding us of the various ways abundance can manifest.

    • helenhouse said:

      A bun dance! Thanks, Fresh! Hey… I’ve got to reply to another amazing comment you left on an earlier blog…… Sorry to leave you hanging!

  4. Joel Desprez said:

    See, right away I was thinking “water balloon”. Boys will be boys, I guess.

    • helenhouse said:

      Well, Joel, that’s another thing that once burst can’t go back to how it was… so fitting metaphor! 🙂

  5. Girlene, I am SO enjoying your writing.

    Enjoying the vulnerability and the strength in the experiences you share, the way you’re letting it fly, and the meaning you make of it all for yourself, and for us. Deelish.

    • helenhouse said:

      Thank you so much, Deb! You’re so encouraging! Writing is such an awkward, vulnerable thing to do… especially about such personal subjects. I always want it to be about more than just my experience though… otherwise I’d just journal! Glad it’s landing that way. XOX

  6. Helen I scanned your blog subjects and immediately clicked on love and opening hearts.

    I have come to know through my life purpose work that my “blessing” ( a term used to describe the process you do with others) is to open hearts and
    my ‘mission” (specific calling) is to end the suffering that happens in the name of love. I have been on a journey of discovery exploring what that means and how the heck I am suposed to do that. The other thing I found out is that exactly what we/I are created to do for others is the thing we most need ourselves. We are the target market of our own purpose. So over and over I learn about how I close my heart and have to recover to open it again. I watch myself suffering over love and have to shift to remember what love really is. I know I may only skim the surface of my inquiry in this lifetime and can only hope to keep uncovering layers as my life unfolds. Your blog that love changes everything reminded me once again about the bigger definition of love ( not the egoic love) and this notion of a heart bursting open and not closing up again is one I find very compelling. Your writing is opening my heart and reminding me of what we are all capable of. Thank you for who you are and for all you bring, again and again.

    Love,
    Donna

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