Connecting Coaches, Creatives, & Curious Folks through what's emerging in this moment

Posts tagged ‘Grace’

Deathwatch and Mediporn

cosmic-eyeI’m dying. Every day I’m a day closer to being dead. Cells die off constantly throughout my body. And if I’m lucky and intentional enough about it, old habits, rules, ideas, and useless behaviors die along with those cells.

I’m being born. Every day, new cells in me are created. Every day new life emerges in this very body bringing me more alive all the time. New ideas emerge, new thoughts, relationships, and neural pathways are born bringing me ever closer to the Light we all strive for.

I’m living. Each day that my heart is beating, my lungs are doing their job, and the neurons keep firing; I am living. Each moment that I seek new learning, share with others, or engage in anything that lights my fire – I am very, very ALIVE.

Which part of me are you going to interact with? The dying part? The being created anew part? Or the living part? They all matter. They all have relevance… a particular role to play in this cycle of Life.

When I asked my client today, “What are the conversations you’re avoiding?” he replied with, “I don’t talk to people who are on deathwatch any more.” When I asked him to elaborate he described those people who don’t know how to deal with the fact his illness is terminal, they don’t know how to relate to him as a living being, but rather because they’re so distressed by the idea they’ll lose him one day and that they won’t know how to handle that themselves; they seem to be just waiting for him to die. They’re on deathwatch.

When time is in short supply, and the energy one has to share with any given person in a day is limited, the last thing someone who is dancing with an illness needs is to be the caretaker in a conversation – the one making it okay for everyone else that they happen to be dying a little faster than the rest of us probably are.

I asked if he was tired of people resorting to asking for report outs about his current physical state. After chatting about how we all tend to let our curiosity be about ailments, effects of medication, and have an incessant need to know why this or that happened, he blurted out “Mediporn!” (more…)

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Grace Period

On a journey of transformation, there are many stages along the way.  Yesterday I entered a stage I’m thinking of as my ‘Grace Period‘.  In the 2 days before yesterday, so many things came to an end, had been completed enough for now, or just let go of.  The build up to that time was so very stressful — not knowing how to do things, deadlines looming, hair falling out, and feeling held in the balance of so many unknowns.

It seemed like it happened all at once.  I figured out how to do things ‘enough’ that I could meet some critical deadlines.  I cut my hair off and had it both confirmed that it was indeed falling out at a rapid pace, AND that there was a half-inch of new growth coming in.  (Yay!) I sent my blood off to a lab for analysis to see if anything besides the trauma of March’s illness was causing the hair loss.  With all these ends tied enough, I hopped on my bike and felt completely liberated!  As I rode along Lake Superior I thought ‘this is my grace period’.  This is that time in between yesterday and tomorrow where everything feels exactly right and perfect as it is. (more…)

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