Last year, I sold my house and moved across town to the lower level of my mother’s condo. It took me 6 months to complete the move which included my mom’s condo being remodeled, prepping my home to sell, and getting rid of many things. There was much pain associated with that move: letting go of so much stuff, moving my kids out of our home, and selling a home I loved.
And then, things settled.
Once settled, I felt FREE. My medical debt was erased, my life was smaller and simpler, my kids were finding their way without me, and my mom was healthy enough that I could move about my life quite freely without worrying about her. There was this precious window of time that I knew I must savor, because I knew it was to be short-lived. Wasn’t sure why, just trusted my gut.
Now, we’re moving again. Not across town, but instead cross country to New York. My belongings must be further shed. More pain must be felt. I’m getting used to this. I hold something in my hands that I’ve held since childhood and decide. Sometimes, there’s no pain at all, and I just toss it. Sometimes, a wave hits me, I feel it… then put it in a box for Goodwill. Other times, it just goes back into a box to keep. For now. It’s a funny thing about this pain though; When I let myself feel it, get familiar with it, let it move whatever it’s meant to move… it then moves on. It doesn’t linger. It doesn’t grab hold and make me suffer as I sometimes imagine it will. As John Green said in his film and book, The Fault In Our Stars, it DEMANDS to be felt. Once it is, it often quiets right down.
In this move, there are things I haven’t felt the pain of yet – some by choice, some just because I haven’t gotten to them yet. The more I get clear that I just need to be willing to feel it, the more clear I am that I’ll soon be free – perhaps more free than I’ve ever been.
As I’ve worked with coaching clients through the years, often where they get stuck is around something that will result in feeling some pain. They’re afraid sometimes, and usually it’s a fear they’ll feel pain of some kind. I’m thinking now that part of my job as a coach is to help them remember that pain demands to be felt, that it’s only pain, and that there is tremendous freedom on the other side.
What sayeth you?