Connecting Coaches, Creatives, & Curious Folks through what's emerging in this moment

Posts tagged ‘transformation’

Deathwatch and Mediporn

cosmic-eyeI’m dying. Every day I’m a day closer to being dead. Cells die off constantly throughout my body. And if I’m lucky and intentional enough about it, old habits, rules, ideas, and useless behaviors die along with those cells.

I’m being born. Every day, new cells in me are created. Every day new life emerges in this very body bringing me more alive all the time. New ideas emerge, new thoughts, relationships, and neural pathways are born bringing me ever closer to the Light we all strive for.

I’m living. Each day that my heart is beating, my lungs are doing their job, and the neurons keep firing; I am living. Each moment that I seek new learning, share with others, or engage in anything that lights my fire – I am very, very ALIVE.

Which part of me are you going to interact with? The dying part? The being created anew part? Or the living part? They all matter. They all have relevance… a particular role to play in this cycle of Life.

When I asked my client today, “What are the conversations you’re avoiding?” he replied with, “I don’t talk to people who are on deathwatch any more.” When I asked him to elaborate he described those people who don’t know how to deal with the fact his illness is terminal, they don’t know how to relate to him as a living being, but rather because they’re so distressed by the idea they’ll lose him one day and that they won’t know how to handle that themselves; they seem to be just waiting for him to die. They’re on deathwatch.

When time is in short supply, and the energy one has to share with any given person in a day is limited, the last thing someone who is dancing with an illness needs is to be the caretaker in a conversation – the one making it okay for everyone else that they happen to be dying a little faster than the rest of us probably are.

I asked if he was tired of people resorting to asking for report outs about his current physical state. After chatting about how we all tend to let our curiosity be about ailments, effects of medication, and have an incessant need to know why this or that happened, he blurted out “Mediporn!” (more…)

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Have a Healthy Co-Active Summit 2014!

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On April 10th, 2014 about 650 people from around the world will be gathering for CTI’s Co-Active Summit 2014. This is the 2nd ever Summit. The last was held in Marco Island, FL in February of 2011. I am beyond excited about this Summit!  And to be perfectly honest – a wee bit nervous.  You see I spent most of the last Summit in my hotel room, in bed, with a burning fever, launching myself into the transformational ride of my life. Many of you came with me on that journey in one form or another. Since from ‘Me to We’ is the Summit theme, these ideas are my contribution to keep the ‘me’ of myself and the ‘we’ of us all healthy.

If you won’t be attending the Summit in person, these tips may still apply to both how you can support a healthy Summit for all, and they could help keep yourself healthy in those intense life moments.

  1. Come well rested. So often we head into travel already exhausted. People are coming from around the world. Many will be road weary and jet lagged. The more rested the whole of us can be, the more the individuals can rest into knowing the experience is well held when others need to catch up. There will be plenty of energy for all when we lean in together.
  1. Everything is nothing with a twist – Begin with a breath… 03b1d02514f58634c48c35d1caf9649c
    I love this image! To me it illustrates moving from the self, me in the center, into the larger whole. When I twist that ‘0’ into an infinity symbol, it leads me to my breath. As I breathe in and fill myself up, I must exhale and expand into the space. As I empty myself, I must then refill from the space before I offer myself to it again. We can start anywhere on the infinity loop… we just have to begin.
  1. Support the Leadership.   This will be an amazing experience that will fill us all up, as long as we support the leadership in every moment. From every corner of the room, from every seat in the house, Leadership is emerging. The more we can support, celebrate, champion, and take it when it’s ours, the more filling and less draining this will be.
  2. Nap! In Embodying Well-Being, author Julie Henderson writes that napping helps you learn from whatever you’ve just been doing. Even if you take a 1 to 3 minute nap, it will help incorporate the learning into the system. I believe we will be learning A LOT at the Summit. So, we will need a LOT of little naps so our systems don’t get overwhelmed and can integrate all that juicy learning.
  3. Listen to your body. Always. What does it need? Water? Sunshine? To breathe more? Move? Rest? Hugs? Good food? Less wine? Listen… it’s telling you.
  4. Stay in the flow. If you’re receiving too much, give. If you’re giving too much, receive. This connects with #2, only it goes beyond the breath. Most of us lean more in one direction than the other – either we give more than we receive, or we take more than we give. In a Summit environment, we can maintain our equilibrium by balancing these out. If I feel overwhelmed by all the attention coming my way, I need to let it pass through me, then shift and give to others. If I’m feeling drained from giving too much, I need to breathe in what’s there and lean into what others can give.
  5. Tend the coals. Passion gets ignited in an environment where people on purpose come together to learn, grow, and shift consciousness. It’s easy to turn a small fire into a blaze and have it burn out. Instead, we need to build a strong ‘bed of passion’ as in ‘bed of coals’ so that we can sustain a long-burning fire within
  6. Hydrate. Being in Napa, it’s easy to think drinking wine is hydrating. Um, water folks. Don’t forget to drink water too
  7. Ask for help. BEFORE all else fails, remember to ask for help as needed. Being a Leader does not mean you must do it all alone. Me to We. We do it together.
  8. PLAY!!  Have a BLAST!!  Don’t hold back!  This is our one chance for THIS moment. Don’t regret not having living, loving, and playing FULLY!

 

What tips do you have to add?  I always appreciate your comments and the chance to interact with and learn from you.

See you at the Summit! I plan to be in good health before, during, and after. Though falling ill last time grew me tons, I’ve “been there done that, got the T-shirt!”, as they say.   This year, let’s ALL have a Healthy Summit!

Love,

Helen

People Don’t Change – An Optimistic Viewpoint

My new theory:
People don’t ever really change, and that’s exactly as it should be!

If you’re a coach or client, you may think I’m crazy to type that out loud.  You may be grimacing at your computer, coming up with loads of examples that prove me wrong.  You stand by to feverishly defend your websites that boast magical abilities to support clients in living into their potential.  We are, after all, in the business of evoking transformation, aren’t we?  If so, how can this be true?

Last month, I got to hang out with my mother and three of her childhood friends.  For 10 days I didn’t really talk to anyone under the age of 83.  These are 4 very accomplished, out-spoken, well-educated, liberal, fun women.  I was the Sherpa and chauffeur on their annual reunion trip, this time to the Florida Keys.  Throughout our trip,  I felt I could see them across time at ages like 4, 8, 13, 19, 26, 35, 47, 56, 64, 72, and now in their 80s.  I could see how, though hips and bits may get replaced, some things truly never change.  Best of all, I could see how GREAT that is! (more…)

Love Changes Everything

Many years ago I got to see Michael Ball sing this on Broadway in Andrew Lloyd Weber‘s short-lived musical ‘Aspects of Love‘.  Though undeniably schmaltzy, the song stuck in my head, like any classic Broadway show tune does.  Though the musical was one of the biggest flops in Broadway history, every now and then some life or love thing happens that sends me digging in my CD pile so I can give it another listen.  Tonight, when this randomly got stuck in my head again, I turned to YouTube.  Each version seems sappier than the one before it, yet if you listen to the words, they capture an essential truth I’ve been experiencing.

A couple of days ago I got to share stories with a favorite client from years ago.  He shared his harrowing tales of a month in the ICU and I shared mine.  His story was so different in many ways, and I felt grateful that my journey was so short and simple in comparison to his.  He fought for his life with every fiber of his being.  He was young, just getting started in his career, and full of possibilities when a skiing accident left him literally shattered.  He shared that he used to dream while on the ventilator of what he could do with his life if he could just get the use of one finger and a thumb.  He fantasized about the paintings he’d paint, the feats he’d accomplish, the difference he could make… if only he’d get to be a quadriplegic.  And the thing he remembered most from all of it?  The Love.  The incredible Love that was (more…)

Burst Wide Open

Bubbles burst, rain clouds burst, buds burst into bloom, tinder bursts into flame, fireworks burst across the sky, and my heart bursts wide open.  Once something bursts, it transforms.  The bubble won’t be put back, the cloud can’t have the raindrops shoved back in, the flower wouldn’t dream of being pushed back into bud.  What about the heart?  If it has truly burst wide open, can it close down or harden again?  We often have moments when we think we’re ‘about to burst’, but we don’t really.  We almost transform, but instead we have a lovely or powerful experience.  It’s easy to go back to the old way from a ‘lovely experience’.  Not so easy if we are truly burst open.

Since I awoke in the ICU I’ve been pushed to the ‘about to burst’ point over and over again.  I can’t tell you how often I’ve burst into tears — sometimes from sadness, worry, or despair, but mostly because the love was more than I thought I could bear.  At first, the words overwhelmed me.  Comforting, yes, in many ways… but also like a tire or balloon being filled too full much of the time.  The food people brought, the cards sent, the conversations shared, and the endless messages of love and support offered in countless ways — these were all part of the ‘about to burst’ phenomenon.

Launching the fundraiser has pushed me to the bursting point again and again.  Oh my!  It takes a certain kind of courage to ask for help so directly.  I’ve needed to trust that people’s words are genuine when they (more…)

Grace Period

On a journey of transformation, there are many stages along the way.  Yesterday I entered a stage I’m thinking of as my ‘Grace Period‘.  In the 2 days before yesterday, so many things came to an end, had been completed enough for now, or just let go of.  The build up to that time was so very stressful — not knowing how to do things, deadlines looming, hair falling out, and feeling held in the balance of so many unknowns.

It seemed like it happened all at once.  I figured out how to do things ‘enough’ that I could meet some critical deadlines.  I cut my hair off and had it both confirmed that it was indeed falling out at a rapid pace, AND that there was a half-inch of new growth coming in.  (Yay!) I sent my blood off to a lab for analysis to see if anything besides the trauma of March’s illness was causing the hair loss.  With all these ends tied enough, I hopped on my bike and felt completely liberated!  As I rode along Lake Superior I thought ‘this is my grace period’.  This is that time in between yesterday and tomorrow where everything feels exactly right and perfect as it is. (more…)

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